Do you think religion should continue?
Q: I hope you’re having a fantastic fall, Elle! This season always helps me feel even more in tune with the magic we have on earth. The holidays coming up made me think about religion, paganism, and spirituality and it crossed my mind that even though there are parts of religion you do not like, you never really hate on it the way I see a lot of people with religious trauma do. Is it okay to ask how you truly feel about religion? Do you think that it should continue or be tampered down? I’m very torn on this issue and I find it nearly impossible to respect religion after all the harm it has done. Thanks!
A: Thank you so much! Autumn is absolutely amazing out in the west, and I am loving every minute of it. I’m a big Halloween/Samhain fan, so this is my MOMENT haha. It feels very magical to me too. =)
Of course, it is okay to ask me whatever you want. <3 When I had my old Facebook I would sometimes reblog memes from atheist or skeptic pages that pointed out the flaws in literalist interpretations of the Bible. Some of the fundamentalists that I still had on my friend’s list saw it as hate, but no one outside of the religion did, so I guess “hate” depends on each person. I have every right to post memes other people do not agree with, but for example, I would not share an inflammatory one to someone else’s profile without consent. I wish no harm or ill will to people who are part of any religion. When I do criticize it, I do so in my own spaces (websites, blogs, etc.) and do not invade other people’s spiritual or religious sanctuaries with my opinions. Those are my guidelines for myself. I also set firm boundaries with others. For example, anyone can pray over their food at a shared meal if they wish, but I will not be participating in the activity- I am just going to start eating. If I am expected to participate, I will leave. Another boundary that I had to set with some extended family members and people I knew from religious circles in Virginia is that I will go no-contact if they remind me that they are praying for me (or send me Bible verses as “encouragement”) at any point via text, email, or other communication. Though some people find the words or reminders very inspiring, I find them incredibly depressing. The Bible is not a book I want to engage with on the regular, even if it is with the “pretty” parts. It is okay to set boundaries for yourself even as you respect other people. =)
As of right now, I do not criticize religion in general but instead, focus on the toxicity of fundamentalism. Specifically Christian fundamentalism (with a Baptist tinge), since it is what I was immersed in while growing up. Not all Christians are fundamentalists, and there are so many variations of beliefs and practices even within a single denomination, that no single criticism applies to everyone. The reason I criticize fundamentalism is because it is defined by some general ideas that are verifiably harmful to large groups of people: 1. Purity culture (The belief that your body belongs to your parents, god, or a future spouse and that if you have sex outside of marriage you are dirty or used or have lost value. It affects everyone but is especially targeted toward girls who are usually told they belong to their fathers until marriage, where “ownership” or stewardship passes to their husband.) 2. Anti LGBTQIA+ beliefs which perpetuate the idea that anyone who loves someone other than the opposite sex within a monogamous marriage is living a life of sin. 3. Teaching children as young as 2,3, and 4 that they need Jesus to wash them clean of their sin to avoid punishment (usually infinite hellfire). 4. Believing that one’s beliefs are the only correct ones and that most other people are “sinful” and destroying the world. 5. Teaching children inaccurate history and presenting curriculum that teaches them the earth is only 5,000-8,000 years old, even though we have plenty of evidence that the earth is much older than that. 6. In some extreme sects like the one I grew up in, there is the belief that there is no point in resolving climate change or taking care of the earth since the Bible mentions that a new heaven and new earth will eventually be created… Never mind that the Bible says to be good stewards of the present earth, but I guess that’s open to interpretation. Those are just a few big problems I have with fundamentalism. Not ALWAYS, but usually, we have a ton of sexism, racism, xenophobia, ableism (especially in Pentecostal spaces), far-right nationalism (no separation of church and state), and sexual violence hibernating in fundie spaces. However, not every Christian is a fundamentalist, and so many of them have come out in support of the LGBTQIA+, have done beautiful things to heal the earth, and have taken an active stance against the many problems in the church. My quibble isn’t with Christians in general, but with the extremists who cause immense harm to people inside and outside of the religious sect. On this website, I talk about fundamentalism in some of my blog posts, because many of the ideologies are invading spiritual and new-age spaces and not being recognized for what they are. They are slightly repackaged or rebranded to look like something new.
I think people should be taught facts in school, and that everyone should have the freedom to believe what they want to believe. Religion can be taught in schools, but without any one religion dominating over the others. People can decide whether something will work for them or not, but I am against one single religion being taught as THE ONE AND ONLY WAY to live one’s life. People should receive a proper science and history education, and they can do with the information what they see fit. I’m not for “tampering down” religion in the sense that I want to erase it- That would be devastating for so many people. I am for presenting a balanced view of spirituality and religion, including all the pros and cons of each one, and being permissive to each person in terms of letting them decide what brings them comfort and peace in this human life.
The thing is that you do not have to respect religion… or beliefs. You have to respect people. So that my words are not misconstrued, I need to be clear in stating that just because you do not have to respect beliefs, you have the right to take whatever you want or invade religious spaces with hostility. That would disrespect people. All closed practices and cultural practices not open to outsiders should be left alone unless you are part of that community or group. What I mean is that you do not have to respect the fact that the Christian religion/mythology/faith says that a snake talked to a woman in a garden. You do not have to admire a belief system that is out of resonance with you, but there is a way to process trauma and present criticism in appropriate spaces and without being violent. Criticism is not automatically equivalent to abuse and it isn’t the same as hate, but there are times and places to deliver it, and times and places where it isn’t appropriate. In terms of religious trauma, there are instances where someone who hurt a lot of people will have to be held accountable for what they did or what they covered up- that is a separate issue.
I am willing to look at the good that religion has done for sure, but after an intense upbringing in the worst of the worst, I would be lying if I said I felt favorable toward it in my personal space. But that’s because I do not personally like Christianity in any of its iterations. That does not mean someone else is wrong for being attracted to it or finding healthy ways to integrate it into their own practice. There are radicals who have a firm footing in our world, but they do not represent everyone under the religion they claim. Some parts of religion need to fall away, but it does not mean it all needs to disappear. As I said, I am also just referring to fundamentalism, typically found in Abrahamic religious spheres. Most other traditions advocate for tolerance and appreciation of difference. White supremacy is erasure culture, and practices can be decolonized and healed. I would not want to participate in erasure by insisting that religion(s) disappear. I love paganism, nature religions, and so many other cultural essences that have survived the brutality of colonization. White supremacy has tarnished some iterations of Christianity so badly, it can be hard to see past it, but we must educate ourselves and acknowledge that there are kinder religious pathways, even if we do not choose those pathways for ourselves.
Something else to note is that religion is a big term! There are nature religions (no founder and usually no sacred texts) and then there are revealed religions (which have a founder and sacred texts). I am oversimplifying, but many pagans consider themselves to be religious even though their practice may look nothing like someone who belongs to a revealed religion. =) Some people mix nature and revealed religions together or find themselves attracted to multiple pantheons! When most of us think of “religion” especially if we went through intense trauma, I think we tend to look at the big empires like fundie Christianity or Islam, but there is much more to religious experience than just those. I have found a lot of beauty in the nature religions, though I do not experience Druidry, for example, as a religion in my personal practice. For me, it is an approach to a deeper connection to nature, but without a belief in deities or the worship of any being or element of nature.
People do not talk about religious trauma enough. Some dark spaces really are trying to hide the ugly parts of organized religion and will pretend they never happened or aren’t happening currently. Those problems need to be addressed. We can acknowledge the harm some religions have created while acknowledging that there is still beauty and inspiration for many who enjoy religious exploration. We can criticize hateful iterations of certain gods or goddesses while recognizing that there are some mythologies/faiths/religions that use the same archetypal concepts in a completely different (positive) context. I will never personally be a fan of organized religion, but I will always advocate for everyone’s right to practice what they want within reason and to have the ability to find meaning wherever they want to. YouTube and TikTok host entire channels devoted to ex-fundie and ex-evangelical healing for people who did go through terrible things, which is very validating and nice. There is a place for all of us, and I am glad that all aspects along the experiential gradient are now receiving attention. <3